Characters: Kanjani8, News, Various other JE boys.
Main Focus: Ryo
Summary: An unexpected event rips the hearts of Kanjani8 and News members. They are left to attend their wound while looking after one of their own.
(side note: this is NOT a death fic, even though it looks like it.)
Format: Multi-Chapter Story
Warnings: This is set during spring 2010 while News was still a six-member group and *obviously* Subaru was still in the band.
Note: All chapters are going under editing at the moment. Next chapter might take time to upload.
Chapter 13: Midnight Intervention
Ryo woke up to a pounding voice on the door. He wiped his eyes find himself on the couch, a variety of DVDs were now covering the coffee table in front of him.
He had decided to try out one of his dramas. His! That one with Tackey seemed like the right one to start out. The older acting all mother-hen around him made Ryo uneasy but also slightly happy. He wouldn’t admit it of course, not even to himself.
He was interested on the drama from the first minute. Seeing himself on the TV, even just walking under the rain was unnerving but also intriguing. But before long, his eyes started to droop. The day had taken a toll on his body, and before long he had drifted off.
He didn’t mean to sleep. This was not good. At least he was awake.
The pounding sound continued, now accompanied by a muffled voice. Ryo rubbed his eyes and tentatively got up. His back was sore from all the hard work he was doing. Not to mention his body not healed yet. Who was so insensitive to come at this ungodly hour?
He looked out of the peeping hole to see it was that Yamashita.
Great. His supposed best friend.
His mind went a mile a minute.
Should he open it?
If he didn’t, what would happen?
What time was it?
Would the neighbours be angry?
Would Yamapi give up if he pretended not to hear?
A stronger pound came and a whine. “Ryo-Chaaaan. Open the door. Pleeeasse! Ryooooo! Pleaseeeeee!”
The idiot! Ryo sighed and rested his head on the door with defeat. He must be drunk. It definitely sounded like he was drunk. He was tempted to leave the man out on the hall, but then again the idiot would probably cause a lot of nuisance, both for him and the neighbours.
“Ryooooo!” Yamapi pounded the door again.
Ryo clenched his jaw and opened the door in one swift motion. Yamapi blinked at him surprised. His cheeks were flushed and eyes slightly dazed. He obviously didn’t expect Ryo to really open the door.
“What!” Ryo growled, ignoring the others shock.
“Ryo-chan…” Yamapi mumbled hesitantly. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He was so unsure, Ryo felt a pang of guilt.
“What the hell do you want in the middle of the night?!” Ryo tried to sound firm.
Yamapi looked at him and whimpered.
Ryo was shocked; did he just... cry? He opened his mouth but couldn’t find anything to say.
Yamapi stared at him sadness in his eyes. Ryo felt the guilt tightening in his chest. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so harsh to the others. Especially his supposed best friend.
Yamapi pushed past Ryo and entered the flat. Ryo backed away to the wall to avoid any confrontation and stared at the back of Yamapi’s head moving towards the kitchen. Ryo clenched his jaw before closing the door and following his supposed best friend. He wasn’t sure how to comfort a drunken man, one he wasn’t quite fond of nonetheless. He squared his shoulders and went after Yamapi.
Said man was in the kitchen already, pouring two glasses of a dark beverage. Ryo suspected a pretty strong drink by the smell of it but didn’t say anything. If the idiot wanted to destroy his kidneys in one night, what was it to Ryo really.
“Here.” Yamapi wobbled to him.
Ryo startled. He lifted his gaze to star at the offered drink with a frown. “You are aware that I am not allowed to drink anything?”
“With all the drugs in my system, its not a good idea apparently.” Ryo didn’t mean to sound so belittling. Although he was sure Yamapi deserved it.
“Oh.” Yamapi stood there for a minute, with glasses on both hands. “Yeah. Sorry.” He looked like a lost child.
Ryo folded his arms and. “So why are you here?” he raised one eyebrow to emphasise the question. He was so tired to deal with anyone, especially with someone drunk.
Yamapi drank the first glass in his hand, looked at the other glass for a second and downed that one as well. He put both glasses on top of the DVD mess Ryo had mead earlier that night.
Ryo just stared at him. He was already wary of what the other might do. Now there was more alcohol in the others system, Ryo’s feeling of guilt slightly turned to something different, something very much like fear. He folded his arms on his chest to contain himself.
“I can’t handle this anymore,” Yamapi sighed. He slowly lifted his gaze to meet Ryo.
“I am sorry? YOU can’t handle this?!” Ryo said incredulous, pointing at him. “You can’t be serious right now.” He felt like laughing. He bit his lower lip in frustration and glared at the other. “Do you realize I am the one that is not well? I am the one that requires healing?”
“Ryo-chaaaan.” Yamapi grabbed Ryo’s arms. His words were slurring. Obviously, he didn’t listen Ryo’s outburst. “I can’t handle not being your friend. I can’t handle being shunned Ryo-chan. I know you do that, I know you are a closed person. But not to me. I am never left out like this. Ryo-chan.”
Ryo tried to free himself from Yamapi “Let go, you idiot. Just because you are drunk, I am giving you a chance to walk away right now. Or else I don’t promise your pretty teeth would be intact tomorrow morning”
Yamapi strengthened his grips as Ryo tried to get free. This spooked the amnesiac. “Let! Go!” he hissed at his former friend.
“Please don’t push me away. Not any further. I don’t know what to do anymore.” Yamapi hiccupped.
“Let me go you idiot!”
Without any indication, Yamapi suddenly wrapped Ryo in an embrace, hiding his face in the other shoulder, crying. In his half dazed, alcohol induced mind, he had forgotten Ryo’s recent fears completely.
Ryo stilled. He felt his body go numb, his heart quickening, even his breath hitching. No, no, no… He started to shiver. His body felt trapped, suffocating and unable to move. No…
“… this is like losing you twice.” Yamapi weeped.
Ryo barely heard him, his ears were ringing. A different kind of voice was echoing in his head. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were open still. The view was getting darker and darker by second.
“All you do ever is cause trouble!”
“… I didn’t know what to do…”
“Every fibre of your existence is a nuisance!”
“… I just wanted to help you…”
“I am so sick and tired of your tirades!”
“… I wanted to be there for you…”
“Next time it won’t be your arm only.”
“… but you keep pushing me away…”
Ryo could hear a snap, but he was sure that it was not a sound from the current. Still, everything was going dark. His throat was closing in itself.
“Can’t… breath...” Ryo managed, barely above a whisper. Suprisingly, this sobered Yamapi up in a second. He pushed his amnesiac friend away and held him at arm point. Ryo was unable to stand on his own. His legs were buckling; his whole body was shaking like a leaf in the wind.
“Ryo… My god… I am sorry.” He grabbed the others body before Ryo crumbled to the floor and helped him to the couch. Ryo toppled over on his side, his hand clawing on his throat. His eyes were going dark on the sides.
“oh god – oh god – oh god.” Yamapi was on the verge of panicking himself. He wiped his face in worry. “Water…” He rushed to grabb a glass of water from the kitchen and came right back to his friends side. “Ryo-chan.” The other looked so pitiful, and it was Yamapi’s fault. “Could you lift your head.”
Ryo didn’t give any indication that he heard Yanapi. He was still heavily heaving. Tears were spilling from his eyes non-stop.
Yamapi left the glass on the messy coffee table and started to run circles behind Ryo’s back. The other flinched at first but started to relax a minute at a time. He started to relax, and he let his body lay on the couch completely. It took quite some time for Ryo to calm down, but once his breathing turned regular Yamapi grabbed the glass again.
“Ryo-chan, please have a sip.”
Ryo was silent, he lay there like a statue, the only indication that he was still awake was the spill of tears and slight shiver of his eyelashes.
Yamapi reached to wipe his eyes but stopped himself just in time. He shouldn’t trigger the other again. He should stop being so insensitive toward the sick man.
“Ryo-chan, here.” He held the glass towards his friend again, holding it up to indicate Ryo didn’t need to handle the glass at all.
Ryo glanced at the glass just then. He desperately wanted some liquid going down his throat. But it seemed impossible as Ryo turned his gaze down to his l where his trembling hands now lay. Yamapi’s gaze fell on them too; he watched as Ryo’s long, skilfully blessed fingers shiver with an invisible tremor. “I’ll hold it Ryo-chan, don’t worry.”
Ryo blinked up at the looming glass. His gaze found the others, though Ryo only glanced up to Yamapi for a second and then dropped his eyes to the couch once more.
Yamapi’s jaw clenched. How stupid could he be to come here so drunk. What an idiot he was. He might have just made things worse for Ryo. Like the other needed any more burden already.
Yamapi’s hands tightened around the glass. He was a complete idiot. But right now he should focus on Ryo instead. Right when he opened his mouth once more to beg Ryo, the other man lifted his body from the couch and reached for the water.
“Give it here,” Ryo managed, his voice roughened from before. Yamapi placed the glass in Ryo’s hands but held on to its bottom as Ryo’s hands were not still yet. Ryo didn’t utter another word as he drank the water slowly, one sip at a time. He then let the glass back in Yamapi’s hands wordlessly.
“I am really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Yamapi started apologetic.
“You shouldn’t have come.” Ryo managed, barely above a whisper. He felt terrible, as if his body had gone through a strong storm. Ryo lifted himself from the couch and looked at Yamapi wildly. It was all this idiots fault.
Yamapi’ sensed Ryo’s anger. “I-“ he started but was cut off.
“You were drunk, and decided with your fool of a brain to force yourself back to my life.” Ryo started low but his voice was rising with anger with each word. “You think that forcing me will solve whatever problem there is! Whatever problem you are having! BUT GUESS WHAT! I AM NOT THE RYO YOU KNOW!”
Yamapi stared at his friend wide eyed. Ryo was loosing his cool and all Yamapi could think was how pathetic excuse of a friend he was. Would this throw his friend into a new fit. What should he do. Should he call someone?
“STOP WITH YOUR HOVERING. I AM NOT RYO. NO!”
Yamapi had gotten up to reach to Ryo. But he stilled at the others scream.
“I AM NOT THE ONE YOU LOST!” Ryo yelled as much as his rough voice would allow. His eyes were glistening with anger and frustration.
“Ryo, please.” Yamapi himself felt on the verge of tears.
“GO AWAY! GET OUT!”
Yamapi closed his mouth and swallowed down. “I don’t think you are in a state to be alone right now.” He returned as calm as he could manage.
“I DIDN’T ASK YOU DID I!”
“YOU DIDN’T.” Yamapi yelled at last but he stopped himself when he saw Ryo flinch back. “You never do when you are wounded or need help! But guess what, I am not going to abandon you whether you like it or not.”
Ryo stared at him incredulous. “Are you for real now?!” his voice still held an edge to it although he was not quite yelling. He turned and marched to his room, slamming the door in Yamapi’s face.
Yamapi stared at the door stunned. “Stupid…” he mumbled. “Stupid, stupid, stupid. How much more can you be more stupid. Well done on abusing the sick and ill. Argh.” He messed his hair in frustration, and let his body fell down on the couch. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! He vaguely remembered Toma warning him not to confront Ryo. Not when drunk.
Not when drunk.
“Aaah!” he let out a frustrated sigh. The guilt was eating him out. Why did he go and ruin everything? He dipped his hands and fished out his phone. “Toma.”
“Eh? Yamapi? What time is it.” Toma’s voice was so sleepy, Yamapi cursed himself. How many more friends are you gona pis tonight Yamashita.
“Sorry I didn’t check.” Yamapi answered Toma in distress.
“What is it?” Toma’s voice was now more alert.
“I… I am at Ryo’s”
Yamapi heard Toma curse, and then shuffle. “The hell?! I left you at your place! The hell are you doing there!”
Yamapi held his phone away from his face and grimaced. What should he say. Would Toma be angry at the truth?
“… I am coming to get you. Leave the man alone you idiot!”
“No! Toma you can’t! I can’t leave him.” Yamapi nearly yelled.
“Why?” Came Toma’s voice with suspicion. “What happened?”
“I… I pushed him a bit far. More than he was ready for.” His gaze fell on the closed bedroom door. He couldn’t say anymore. All the nights events seemed surreal yet livid enough for him to not want to repeat them.
“GOD! YOU IDIOT!” Toma yelled. “I am coming right away.”
“No don’t-“ but before Yamapi could finish his objection Toma hang up. Yamapi bit his lip. Everything was going down in spirals.
It was only fifteen minutes when Yamapi opened the door with shame written all over his features to a fuming Toma. He managed an apologetic smile to the other to sooth the atmosphere.
“You are a complete idiot.” His friend grumbled.
“Hi Toma-chan.” Yamapi greeted.
Toma pushed Yamapi back inside and closed the door behind him. “Tell me all the details. And what reaction did you trigger from him. And be quick!”
Yamapi tried to explain as much as he remembered, but most of it was hazy due to his drunken state. “… and then he stopped breathing. I almost got a heart attack.”
“WHAT?!” Toma face palmed himself. “Dude! You just triggered a panic attack. I don’t even know how to fix all this mess.” Toma looked around, placing his hands on his waist.
Yamapi looked down at his feet. He didn’t have any idea either. He had secretly hoped Toma would miraculously turn everything around. It was now obvious that wasn’t possible.
“The first thing you need to understand is this is not about you and him.” Toma said somewhat later in a much calmer state.
Yamapi looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. “What?”
“This is about him, completely.”
“No buts! He just lost everything that mattered to him, do you understand that?!”
“Why are you scolding me.” Yamapi grumbled. “I was just trying to help him…”
“No, you were selfishly only thinking about yourself and how you wanted your friend back.” Toma’s voice was rising gradually by each word.
“What’s wrong with that!” Yamapi clenched his fists. “Of course I want my friend back!”
“It is completely wrong because you are disregarding his feelings right now. You have no idea what he is going through!” Toma was nearly yelling now.
“So do you!” Yamapi shot back, equally high.
“At least I have the sense to empathise with him!”
A sudden silence fell between them. Neither looked at each other for a while. “I understand your frustration Yamapi,” Toma started with more kindness in his voice. “It’s not that I don’t understand you. But I don’t think anyone is really thinking about his mental state at the moment. You have to understand this as soon as possible. Be there for him, not for yourself.”
Yamapi stared at his friend for a full minute. But at the end he managed a nod.
“Come, let me take you home.” Toma patted Yamapi’s shoulder. Yamapi was ready to accept the offer, his own body was exhausted already. But then he really couldn’t leave Ryo.
“No! But what if there’s another panic attack!” Yamapi protested.
“He needs rest Yamapi. His Body has gone through quite a rough experience tonight.”
Yamapi opened his mouth to protest but Toma shushed him.
“Us staying here will probably distress him more. It has been a long night and all of us need rest.” He glanced at Ryo’s closed door. He was tempted to see the other but decided against it. It wouldn’t be good for the angry Osakan at all. “Come.” He half dragged his friend out of the flat.
Unbeknown to them, Ryo was sitting on the other side of his door, half covering his ears, half listening to this exchange. When he finally heard the front door close he let a sigh escape. He let his body fall on the hard floor and stared under the darkness of his bed.
A.N: It has been ages since I last updated, but here you go. To anyone who is still reading this thank you! To anyone who comments, thank you a lot!
I sincerely hope this is up to your liking and I didn't betray anyone's character to bad. For Toma, probably it was unavoidable since I knew very little about him. My impression of him is that he is nice, intuitive, smart and also realistic, so I ran with that.
Hello Eito fandom, I am back!
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