tiethel (tiethel) wrote,

Writers Block: End of Hiatus, or...?

Hello to anyone who is still out there, who is still waiting patiently for me to update.
There couldn't be much after seven years right?
I am really sorry for falling from the face of earth; or rather the j-world.

I sincerely apologise.

I'll try to explain these past years and why I just vanished.

Seven years ago, my life at the time was going both in a good and bad direction. Good because I was finally picking myself together, getting a degree, finding a job etc. speaking on society's view of course. But on the other hand I was falling deeper and deeper in to depression each year. I tried to hold on to the things I loved but nothing seemed to give me joy anymore. It was hard, and, I admit, I went to dark places. I had lost hope on my dreams, not giving up but still losing hope (does that make any sense any sense to anyone?).  I felt like I was stuck in a reality I hated, and I didn't have the power to get out of it. Although I had concerned people around me, their resolution was to give up on my dream and make do with my life as it was.

I couldn't do it. Maybe its not really a healthy way of thinking but I felt like I would be completely lost if I also gave up on my one true dream.

I frantically searched a way out. While these searches seemed fruitless, an opportunity rose by the end and I moved forward. I moved, changed jobs, and started to enjoy life again. It is slow but I am getting there. This past year I started to pick up my old habits and started to feel hopeful again.

I am nowhere near my dream but slowly I am getting there. This is enough for now. My mind is in a fragile state and I can get really down real quick, but I believe I am also getting stronger.

Then, a friend was showing my a kpop video a week ago. And this suddenly ignited my love for Kanjani8 and Ryo. All the while I was watching that video, my mind was on KJ8. I was always a fan even though I stopped following their updates. But now I wanted to be back and an active member of the fan community. So hey!

I have been searching old pages and trying to refresh my memory as well follow-up on everything that I missed (it is hard I tell you, there's really not much around anymore).

Then I decided to read my own fic, since it was always on my mind. I wanted to continue. I just finished reading it today and I think I know what I want to do with it :) we will see. But I am really hoping to update it in a week or two. I don't want to promise of course, but this is how I feel.

Sorry for the long post. This is pretty raw but I am not going to edit it (or else I won't post it). I just felt I owed you a tiny bit of an explanation.

Have a good day/evening wherever you are.
Yours sincerely,
Tags: personal

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