“Cheers!” Takki yelled happily to one of his juniors.
“Cheers!” Jun yelled.
“Cheers.” Jin blurted out.
Yamapi had invited everyone he could out for a drink. It wasn’t actually a bad idea, everyone was having fun; except Yamapi himself. He wasn’t enjoying anything at all at that moment. The smiles he threw all around were fake. No one actually noticed it, the witnesses from the earlier incident weren’t invited; and of course he was good at hiding his emotions – just like someone he knew.
Yamapi sipped from his glass.
Or maybe someone he thought he knew.
“Oi Pi, what are you thinking?” Takki asked.
Yamapi blinked his eyes to turn back to the reality. “Ah nothing really, I was thinking about today.”
“Really?” The older munched some nuts. “What happened?”
“I wasn’t very successful at filming. I kept doing one of the scenes wrong.” Yamapi lied while sipping.
“That sucks. Are you depressed about it?” Takki looked concerned, Takki always looked concerned, especially if it was Yamapi who was troubled.
“A bit. But I am sure I’ll manage it tomorrow.”
Takki’s generous smile immediately lightened up his face. “That’s the spirit.”
“Ne, Yamapi,” Ninomiya patted on Yamapi’s shoulder. “How is Nishiki? I was planning to see him tonight.”
Yamapi was expecting this question. “He is healing. It’s good that you didn’t go see him tonight, he was so tired after the practice.” He answered the Arashi member.
“What practice?” Takki asked. “I thought he was resting at home. If I knew he was good enough to accept visitors I would have visited him long ago.”
Yamapi turned to his ‘papa’ again. “He is going to perform on Music Station.”
“He is that okay?” Ninomiya asked. Takki looked down, he probably felt guilty for not visiting Ryo before.
Yamapi patted Takki’s shoulder. “He is not okay, really. Because of his current situation it would make him worse if there were more strangers next to him.”
“I am not a stranger.” Takki sounded offended.
“I guess he meant that Nishiki has amnesia; didn’t you know?” Ninomiya teased.
“Eh?” Takki looked at Ninomiya. “Are you serious? Why don’t I know about that?”
“Didn’t I tell you?” Yamapi looked outside of the window. “I must have forgotten.”
Takki’s jaw was nearly hitting the floor. “You are serious.” He looked for his jacket. “I should go see him.”
“Told you, it will worsen his situation.” Yamapi said to stop him. His voice sounded a bit angry. “Besides today was a hard and tiring day for him. Why do you still insist? You should give him some time.”
“What’s with you?” Ninomiya asked instead of Takki. Yamapi looked at them, they both looked confused.
“It’s… I had a hard day too.” He mumbled. The other two stared at him for a few seconds.
“Get up.” Takki slapped on Yamapi’s back. “I’ll drive you home.”
Takki wasn’t very happy about the new news, who would be. He dropped Yamapi in front of his building and drove right away to Ryo’s place. He was feeling very guilty now.
He had to ring the bell for three times to get it open. Maybe he shouldn’t have come this late.
“What the hell!” Ryo opened the door. “What do you want in the middle of the night!”
Takki looked at his watch. “It’s only nine thirty, not that late. Are you okay?” the older guy just noticed the others state. His hair, and shirt, was damp; his eyes were swollen like he was sleeping – or crying.
“Who are you?” Ryo answered the others question with a question.
Takki tried to smile. “One of your friends, we work together.”
“So one of those idiots, I see.” Ryo eyed him for a while. “What do you want?”
“Won’t you let me inside?” Takki answered. “It’s a bit rude like this.”
“Then you shouldn’t have come this late.” Ryo did no attempt to move aside.
“Ryo-chan.” Takki smiled. “Come on. I am not going to bother you much.”
“You’ve already bothered me enough.”
A sigh left Takki’s mouth. “Ryo-chan, I understand you may feel unsecure because of your amnesia. I am not going to harm you in any way, I assure. Just let me in.”
Ryo didn’t want to, but somehow he ended up pushing the door open.
Takki’s famous smile lightened up as he entered the flat. He ruffled Ryo’s hair after closing the door behind him.
Ryo wasn’t expecting that kind of treatment. He jumped, “What the-“
The other laughed. “Can’t help it, you guys will always be kids in my eyes.”
A confused expression formed in Ryo’s face. “Kid? Who are you?”
“Come on, let’s sit first.” He headed to the couch. “You’ve lost so much weight you know.”
“I know.” Ryo’s answer came. Judging his voice, he sure felt unsecure. “I heard it numerous times.”
“How much do you weight now?” Takki settled on the couch.
“Fifty.” Ryo sat across him.
“Yeah, I’ve been on a scale today.”
“You must have lost…” Takki made a calculation in his mind. “… around four or five kilos. That’s pretty much.”
Ryo shrugged. He didn’t care about his weight right now, he didn’t understand why everyone else did.
“You don’t care?” Takki asked.
“Why would I?” Ryo ruffled his damp hair.
“Well you used to care very much.” Takki answered him.
The answer bothered Ryo, he shifted uncomfortably. “So… err… What do you want?”
The older guy eyed him before answering. “Sorry. It probably scares you.” He could see the other wasn’t expecting this kind of answer from the way he lifted his eyebrows. Ryo was confused.
“We all claim to be your friends, to be close; but you don’t know what’s the truth, you don't know if we are lying or not.”
“So,” Tackey eyed him. “You’re afraid to believe us.“
“How did we jump in to this conversation?”
“You’re trying to run away.” Takki stated before continuing his previous statement. “… because if you do trust us, and if we’re lying. You’ll end up hurt. That’s what you’re afraid of right?”
The younger looked away. “What the hell?! That’s not it!” he bit his lower lip.
“Then what is it?”
Seemed like there was no way out of this weird guys questions. It would be better to answer his questions to get rid of him, as soon as possible.
“I don’t want to be with strangers like you because it’s bothersome.” Maybe the other would take the hint and leave.
Either he didn’t take the hint – which proved he was a complete idiot – or he ignored it on purpose. Ryo couldn’t help but glare at him.
“Why is your hair damp? Did you just took a shower?”
“Eh? No.” the sudden change of topic caught Ryo off-guard. Now what was that guy trying to do?
Tackey thought about of it for a few second while starring at his junior. The reason why he asked that was just to make Ryo relax with a casual conversation. But looking at the others uncomfortable shifts Tackey knew he just hit another jackpot.
“You’re hair and shirt is damp, you’re eyes are swollen.”
Ryo couldn’t help but rub his eyes. “Eh, so? I was sleeping, of course they are swollen.”
“I’d say,” Tackey continued ignoring Ryo’s words. “You were either taking a shower, while crying – which is unlikely, ‘cause if you were crying in the shower your eyes wouldn’t get swollen.”
“Told you so.” Ryo smirked.
“The other option would be that you were having a nightmare.” Ryo opened his mouth in protest but the other didn’t let him. “Since you said you were sleeping, the first option is disqualified.”
“I was-“ Ryo started, nearly yelling.
“… having a nightmare. Your eyes wouldn’t be swollen like this if you were only sleeping.”
The nervous reaction he got from the other proved his point; Ryo was playing with his hands.
“What was the nightmare about?”
Ryo turned his wide eyes back to his senior, who had an annoying knowing smile on his face. “You’re pushy.”
“You need to be pushed; otherwise you wouldn’t let anyone near yourself.”
The amnesic didn’t know how to answer that. The others diagnosis made him feel uneasy.
“You actually want to be friends.”
“You didn’t say your name.” Ryo cut his words. “Talking about this nonsense is easy.”
“Okay, let’s start with that. My name is… well you can call me Tackey. What was the nightmare about?”
“What a suspicious name.” Ryo mumbled.
A sigh escaped his seniors mouth. Tackey looked around and got up to get something from the bookshelf. “Here, this is the drama we’ve been in.”
Ryo took the DVD and looked at the cover. Though there were many people on the cover, him and ‘Tackey’ was the main Focus. Yes him, there he was with a depressed expression on his face, there was his name, Nishikido Ryo. Why didn’t he look at these earlier?!
“Are you happy now?”
“Takizawa.” Ryo read out, he wasn’t paying much attention to the other.
“I assume you’ve been this suspicious to the others too.” Tackey started to pull out some more DVD’s. “Hey take a look at these too.” He went to sit next to his junior and put them on the youngers lap.
Ryo wasn’t looking at him, his gaze was still on the Orthros no Inu DVD, though he wasn’t actually looking at it. His frown and sparkling eyes showed that the younger was focusing on something.
“You nearly strangled me.” he said nearly whispering.
“Eh?” Tackey lowered his head to see the others face.
“You nearly strangled me.” Ryo repeated.
“There’s no strangling in that drama.” Tackey was confused. “I didn’t harm you in anyway.” What was Ryo thinking, was he mistaking Takki with someone else.
“No, no.” Ryo turned his eyes to him. “Long time ago, there was a… competition I think. We were running… racing…”
“Sounds like old junior days.” Tackey commented, trying to help rather than interfere. He could see the amnesic started to remember something.
Ryo froze for a second, junior days? How many things were there that he should remember? “Before we started the race you took me as a hostage.”
“Yeah. You hold my neck with your elbow, like this.” Tackey watched as Ryo hold an imaginary person with his elbow, like strangling him from the behind. “The others saved me.” He added.
“Who? Do you remember them?”
“It was…” Ryo lowered his gaze to the DVD mess on his lap. “I don’t remember his name.” he said while biting, actually chewing his lips.
“But you know him?”
Tackey reached out for a DVD, it was News’. “Can you recognize him from here?” he watched as the other’s gaze wandered on every members face.
“Not here.” Ryo lowered his eyes to the DVD mess again, this time he pulled out a Kanjani8 DVD. “This one.”
“Subaru-kun.” Tackey couldn’t help but get his hopes up. “Any others you remember?”
The amnesic tried to focus on the memoir. He could remember the suns warmth on his skin, the burning desire for water. That guy, Subaru, was the same; maybe his skin was a bit younger. And there was someone next to him, someone goofy.
Tackey looked at the others frown and waited with patience.
“He had blonde hair.” Ryo slowly spoke. “Here, this one.”
“Yokoyama-kun.” Tackey leaned in to see the picture. “You remembered it well. It was actually a competition between Tokyo and Kansai- are you alright?”
Ryo was visibly shaking; he pushed the mess off of his knees and pressed himself away from the older. Only that the couch’s arm was preventing him to back away further.
“What’s going on?!?”
What’s going on was when Tackey leaned over, his shadow fell on Ryo, completely covering the youngers face. That’s how he found himself under an unexpected pressure; though why he felt that way wasn’t clear.
“Get away!” Came the answer clearly.
Tackey Straightened himself right away; giving some space to the unwell guy seemed the right thing to do. As the result came out, the other looked less frightened and his breathing slowed down. Still he followed Tackey with eyes which were filled with pure horror when the other got up to get a glass of water.
“Here.” The older offered the water to the younger.
Ryo didn’t move, just glared at his senior, causing the other to leave the glass on the coffee table. Tackey could see that the fear was disappearing from those tired eyes, but something else was filling in; anger, pure, wild anger.
“I see, guess I pushed you enough for tonight.” He eyed Ryo sadly. “I’ll leave you alone for tonight. But we will talk about this later okay?”
Ryo still kept silent.
“Say ‘yes’ boy. Otherwise I’m not going to leave. Would you prefer that?”
Ryo wanted to yell at him, punch him, kick him. But he could do neither with his fatigue at that level. He hated it, he hated being this weak when he needed strength. “Leave me alone tonight.” He said finally.
“Okay.”Tackey grabbed his jacket. “We will talk about this later, I have your word for that, right?”
Ryo nodded unwillingly while looking away.
A sad smile appeared on the older guys face. “See you. Hope you’ll get better soon.” With that he left.
Ryo didn’t look but the door slam sent a shiver down his spine. Now that he was alone he wasn’t feeling secure at all. He glanced to his bedroom. Outside world sure was an evil monster to him, but ‘home’ wasn’t peaceful either. Ryo knew his own mind was playing games to him; his sleep was the most troublesome experience lately.
There was only one option for Ryo, giving up sleep. Getting to that conclusion, he reached for the song sheet that he needed to memorize.
AN: I apologize if Arashi is out of character (probably are); dunno really why they are here in the first place.
I would like to thank Decemberpie for her advice, funny maybe but it helped me to organize those twirling ideas in my head. And can’t stop watching ‘dancing in the secret’. Iitai dake (just wanted to say)… :p
For those who always read and for those who comment, thank you all too. Your comments were very supportive. I would have gave up long time ago. Really thank you very much *bows*
Don’t mind me, I’m emotional tonight.